Sunday, 24 May 2015


We are here already and I can't believe it, probably because I tell everyone who asks that she is six months by accident.  My baby is growing up so fast.

At seven months Esme:

-will roll all day every day.

- loves her food and is eating more and more.  No more just smooth purees, no this little one will try anything and everything.

- loves tearing up paper and then trying to eat it.  It is the bane of my life and it always happens after I hoover and I hate the tears when I prise it out of her hands and her mouth.

- can say "dada", "mama", "avvaa" and  a whole host of other sounds.

- giggles like no tomorrow.

- looks around for her big sister, who never fails to make her laugh.

- likes to sleep on her side like a little adult.

- loves to start games of peepo.

- can kind of sit up before falling to one side.

- has hanger {anger when hungry} like no-one else I know

- is basically a joy.

We love you Esme and are so proud of you.


P.S.  I know the background of this photo is not great but it just reminds me of a moment that was adorable.  She was just chatting away to me while I was folding laundry and I was enjoying it just being me and her as that doesn't happen very often.  Also isn't she the cutest!?

Wednesday, 20 May 2015


So we have moved and I think there is only one box left to unpack.  Moving is one of those really weird things because your life changes in the space of a day...totally surreal and yet so much of hum drum of every day life is exactly the same.

I feel like this move had a lot of pressure on it: pressure to live up to expectation.  It was a change we had been waiting for and I was worried that it could never meet those expectations nevermind how real we tried to keep them.

But yesterday Jonny said to me "The you you were before the move and the move you are now, well it is like day and night".  And that made me so happy.

On to what you guys have missed, well I have to say not a whole lot.

On a total side note Poker Face by Lady Gaga has just come on my i-Tunes and I didn't realise it was in my top 25 played tracks.  What does that say about me?  That I love a song I can dance around my living room to: oh yes!

Back to the update.

On the day we moved there was a little fair going on nearby and once the moving men had left we decided to leave our "box city" home and instead go there because who doesn't love a fair?  Well me, but Ava had been such a good girl all day that she deserved to have lots of fun and run around, which is exactly what she did.
Ava on the "horshies" and my does she love them.  I waved at her every time she came round and she loved to wave and laugh and shout "Hi!".  She might have loved them so much that there was a full meltdown when she had to get off them.  The joy of the terrible twos...
Then there was the big slide which she loved.  It might have been her favourite.  Jonny said she was screaming "WEEEEE!!!" all the way down and was loving it.  And her hair loved it too: afterwards it was even wilder than usual.
In other news, I have basically spent the last ten days unpacking and trying to find homes for everything.  There is a massive pile waiting to head to the charity shop and there might have been a few trips to the tip.  If I don't see another cardboard box for quite a while I will be a happy woman.
In between the unpacking and all the showers we have also tried to stop and smell the flowers, literally and figuratively.  Ava loves to smell the flowers and occasionally we end up with a few that come home with us--that little girl of mine sometimes doesn't know her own strength.

Being out in the sunshine makes everything seem a little bit better especially when there are blue skies and not a cloud in the sky.

I cannot believe how much my girls have grown in the last few months.  Esme is rolling around and wants to crawl so badly.  You need to work on that sitting up first little one.  And Ava's language has come along so much and her compassion and empathy, well it still astounds me.  I am just so proud of them both.
I am not sure if this makes sense and it is probably overly emotional and self indulgent but here goes anyway: the last six months or so it is like I have been living in a cloud.  Experiencing everything but like it wasn't quite clear and now it feels like that cloud has finally lifted.  It is nice to have the sun back.

Here is to a good summer.


Monday, 4 May 2015


Six months and eight days ago we moved into our current house.  Well our current house for one more day as we are moving tomorrow.

That wasn't the plan when we moved.  The plan was to love the extra space and to have finally found the place which worked best for us as our family.  We would rent and then look to buy a house where so many memories would be made.  Ava would start school here, roots would be put down and friends get the idea.

But the plan didn't work.

Instead the last six months have been difficult, testing, upsetting, draining, wearing, tiring, and a whole host of other emotions that I can't really put into words.

I have learnt that the reality of a commute is so different from what it looks like on paper and that time together is the most important thing to us as a family.  And I look back now with hindsight and ridicule the decision we made to move out here.  I had just had a baby, we moved from central London to a little town, Jonny' job took off, we knew no-one here, I got ill and basically it all got pretty crap.  Sometimes I think were we crazy?

But it is all so obvious now but at the time we were trying to be responsible, trying to do what we thought was the right thing for us and the girls but it turned out we did totally the opposite.

The problem with things like that is you never know how wrong they are until you try them and then it kind of sucks because as Iris in The Holiday says "round peg, square hole" and that was us and then you are kind of stuck here.

So we are moving.  And I am excited and unbelievably relieved.  My gut is telling me this is the right thing to do and I just can't wait.

I know that some things won't get better overnight because we still have some things to address and try and iron out--isn't that the joy of life--but I feel like this is the biggest step forward we have taken forward in the last six months and eight days.

I am just so excited at spending longer than an hour with Jonny in an evening and the girls seeing their Daddy for more than ten minutes a day.  It really is the small things sometimes that money can't buy.

Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed for us.

Lots of love



Being a Mum can be a hard and thankless task some days and when those days hit, which seems like a far too often occurrence around here, it is nice to have a pick me up, something to make me feel like I have got this and am worth something even if it isn't a mother of the year award.

Step in Jo Malone with its Wood Sage & Sea Salt cologne.  This is exactly what this little bottle does for me.
I have always loved Jo Malone with its beautiful classic packaging and its amazing scents but I had never actually purchased anything because, well I am not sure why not,  Probably because I wonder whether I am worth these pretty things especially as I know they will probably be destroyed by a two year old at some point in the not too distant future.

But sometimes it is the every day little things that seem to make the biggest differences.  Instead of thinking that this expensive candle/reed diffuser/shower gel/fill in with anything else you like is a waste of money and I should be putting that money towards the special dress for a special event, I have come to realise that it is these little splurges purchases that make the most difference to me.  They make me feel special every day and nothing does this more so than a special scent that just makes me think that I have got my sh*t together.

The scent has top notes of ambrette seeds, a heart note of sea salt and a base note of sage: basically it smells divine.

It is not the cheapest but it lasts all day and I have received so many compliments asking what I am wearing.  I just love it and you get the added bonus of having something that looks so sophisticated and classy on your dressing table.

So if you are looking to treat yourself head to Jo Malone and you will probably find me there because I need the candles and the reed diffusers and the body get the idea.
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